My First Darshan with Sri Aurobindo

I have rarely spoken of this first Darshan with Sri Aurobindo, His blessing and Grace that opened my soul and determined my path. The beauty and intensity of that meeting, occurring in a dream-vision in, of all places, my parents home in New Jersey where I returned on a visit after my first stay in the Ashram and my first meeting with Mother and her initiation of this soul.

I wrote to Mother immediately after meeting Sri Aurobindo on two successive nights and Pavitra replied that Mother confirmed my experiences as genuine but I should not attempt a mental reconstruction of them. Pavitra also wrote that more experiences would come.

Now that fifty-four years have passed I feel that I have been given the blessing to share this first meeting with the Lord.

As with my second experience which I have written of earlier, I entered a great hall in a palace-like structure in the subtle physical, Sri Aurobindo's permanent dwelling. Sri Aurobindo was seated on a couch and gently motioned to me to come and sit with Him. As I sat down at his side he extended his arm and placed His hand on my abdomen, fully outstretched to touch my chest as well. In that moment some of the strands of his silken hair fell between his fingers and pressed against my chest. I don't know how many times the psychic tears have poured from me reliving that moment, the moment that would forever change my life.

Nothing more need be said for he is with me always now as is Mother, guiding, protecting, and giving me the strength to surrender fully, offering all my life to them.

Here is a poem that came to me some time after the experience.

Meeting

When I was twelve the Lord of Love withdrew
This earth for which he sacrificed his life.
I did not see his golden form aglow
And nothing knew of the fierce and endless strife,
Or His lonely years of battle with the foe.
Yet twice I met him at his residence,
A dwelling place in subtle matter’s field,
A splendid room of occult radiance.
Seated on his couch, imperial,
He motioned me to join him on his right
And I unknowing of the inexpressible grace
Sat at his side bathed in his force and light.
Imprinted in my soul’s eternal space
The moment supreme in which my life was blessed
From birth to birth I shall remember when
Sri Aurobindo turned to me and pressed
So gently his hand upon my abdomen.
Between his fingers the strands of his silken hair
Soft against my yielding flesh and then
I wept as lo I’ve wept these forty years
Remembering His touch, these psychic tears.